Tuesday, April 15, 2008

boobie tuesday! i hate my breastpump: hands-free bustier


i'll admit it: before i had my son, breastfeeding kind of gave me the heebie jeebies. i know, i know, it's natural and wonderful and fantastic and i'm of course now one of the remaining moms that i know who's still doing it, so obviously things worked out.
attractive? hell, no.  useful?  yes.
one of my main qualms, however, had less to do with the feeding and more to do with the pump. ugh. i don't know a single nursing mom who actually likes that thing. it's like a really bad date where you get felt up - but he never buys you dinner. or calls. and is a breast pump.

the worst part is being stuck to this thing for 15 minutes every time you pump. after my husband asked me if i'd ever seen that star trek episode where people get attacked by borgs and started chanting "you will be assimilated" at me, i knew it was time to do something.

the easy expressions "bustier" (and that term is used very, very, very loosely) will at least save you from having to hold the f-ing things every time you pump. think of it as an ugly tube top that zips up the front and has super-easy access. aside from the hilarious illustration on the package (see above), since i doubt you're conducting important office work in your breastpump and denim button down, it at least will allow you to check your e-mail or use the remote while you're captive.

ugly? hell yes. necessary? oh my goodness, yes. as my friend jen said, "this thing is nasty, but it will save your life."


Rachel said...

oh my god, that's why that date was so bad! I THOUGHT HE WAS JUST REALLY UGLY...

ek said...

hahahahaha...... can't.... speak.... laughing too hard......