things i didn't appreciate until i had children, volume 1.

so there were a number of things that i just took for granted before i had kids. simple things, really - like going to the grocery store. alone. or picking up prescriptions from walgreens. alone. or pretty much anything. alone.

every morning i make it my duty to take a nice hot shower and pretend to take care of my appearance so that i don't look like a hobo when i drop my kid off at school. it's the only ten minutes of the day that i have to myself. and it is magical. except.....

...the worst sound in the world is that of the bathroom door opening while i am in the middle of my nice steamy alone time. (not nearly as sexy as it sounds.) nice clean alone time now means answering a barrage of questions, offers for company and, best of all, my husband asking me "are you done yet?"

no. no, i am not.

you can run, but you can't hide from your children in the bathroom for long

dear husbands,

here's a little secret: your wife does not suddenly suffer from lactose intolerance. it's just that the bathroom is the last place she can justifiably hide from her children.

note to my husband: i would never do this. ever. maybe just once. once a day. or twice. twice a day. probably more on weekends.