the girlfriends' guide to pregnancy by vicki iovine

www.amazon.com: The Girlfriends' Guide to Pregnancy

now that i have not 1, not 2, but 4!! friends who are expecting (congrats, ladies! welcome to the club!), i think it's time we showed them a little love around here.

as i've mentioned, my pregnancy was, shall we say, "challenging." i feel bad complaining when i had friends who were on bed rest for weeks (ugh - you are champions!), but barfing well into my sixth month of pregnancy was really not my idea of a good time.

fortunately for me, i a) had girlfriends who were going through the same thing and b) was reading vicki iovine's "the girlfriends' guide to pregnancy." my friend lisa loaned me this book and after reading the first chapter, i went out and bought my own copy so i could loan it to my friends.

now i have to warn you, this book may not be for everyone. if you don't appreciate sarcasm, then you're probably not only going to hate "the girlfriends' guide," but you most likely think i'm a smart-ass to boot. if you think pregnancy is something sacred and joyous and not to be made fun of, again, this isn't the book for you. however, if you think pregnancy is great but also laugh at chapter titles like "pregnancy insanity," "labor begins (finally)" and also excerpts including "attention husbands of pregnant women! do not take it personally if your pregnant wife would rather sleep than sleep with you!" then you're my target audience.

think the phrase "morning sickness" should really be "all day and all night and possibly for months sickness"? excited to be a mom but secretly terrified you're going to leave your baby on the car roof when you drive somewhere? wonder why your pregnancy brain means you can't remember anything, ever, anymore? and most importantly, want to read a book about pregnancy by a mom who not only had 4 kids in 6 years (no twins!) but was a phi beta kappa and a playboy centerfold? yes! you are really going to enjoy "the girlfriends' guide to pregnancy."

vivian sonnenberg, sleep consultant

www.viviansonnenberg.com

before i was pregnant, i had never heard the term "sleep consultant." then as my due date approached, i thought, "what kind of a moron hires a sleep consultant?"

answer: me.

my beautiful baby boy was a joy in the hospital. "see?" my husband and i would whisper gleefully to each other, "he's only 5 hours old and he's already the best sleeper ever! we are so lucky!" then we got home.

by the time he was 5 months old, my wonderful little man decided he only wanted to sleep for 90 minutes at a time. always. every night. and after about a month of these 1 1/2 hour "sleep" spurts, with my husband and i officially members of the living dead, we decided to hire our first (yes, first) sleep consultant. and after 6 weeks of working with her and having our only accomplishment be one four-hour stretch at the beginning of the night, we gave up and called vivian sonnenberg.

i had heard vivian's name passed around in mommy circles like some secret password and wondered why all these parents were so enamored of her. people warned, "your baby will have to cry!" and others sang "she saved my life!" and for us, both were true.

after hearing vivian's name for months, i finally gave up and called her. she paid us a house call and that night, cole only woke up ONCE. i think she drugged him. okay, probably not, but she does seem to have the magic baby touch. vivian sonnenberg has almost 20 years of experience working with babies and infants. trained as a nurse in argentina, vivian has been working with little ones of all ages to help them finally sleep and be happier, healthier babies..... not to mention with happier, healthier parents.

vivian's fee includes an initial meeting as well as two solid months of phone follow up, where she will call you almost every day to check in with you and offer periodic advice and support. she is based out of mill valley and will travel within the sf bay area. does she do phone consultations for people out of the area? unfortunately, i'm not sure. but i do know that she was worth every penny that we spent on her.

the rookie mom's handbook

www.amazon.com

being a new mom is hard work. and not what a lot of us expect. (what? was it unrealistic to think that my son would put himself to bed every night?) sometimes moms wake up in the morning and think, "what the heck am i going to do today?"

the rookie mom's handbook has a list of 250 activities to do with - or without - your little dictator. designed exclusively for first-time moms, the handbook contains helpful tips like "7 reasons to leave the house each day, " which believe me - you may need at first.

the rookie mom's handbook is thoughtfully divided up into sections of what to do according to baby's age, from "taking baby steps" to " now we're cruising." suggestions range from getting in touch with mommy friends to venturing out to a baby-friendly movie.

as the authors say, sometimes as a new mom it's hard to think and you need to be told what to do. and they tell you.

happiest baby on the block by harvey karp

www.amazon.com

when i was pregnant and visiting my parents, their across the street neighbor came by to say hello and congratulations. she also happens to be an ob nurse.

"that's such great news! congratulations!" was the first thing she said.

"have you read 'happiest baby on the block'?" was the second.

she was the first, but she wouldn't be the last to recommend "the happiest baby on the block." i heard about this book from friends, family and even in my "newborn care" class.

people speak about harvey karp in reverential, hushed tones, and i was determined to figure out why. then i realized: it's because he is a god.

harvey karp, md, was one of the leading doctors to usher back in a generation of swaddled babies. calling the first three months of your baby's life "the fourth trimester" (accurately, i believe), dr. karp and "the happiest baby on the block" will help you to calm your little one using the 5 S's technique. i was advised to watch the dvd in addition to/instead of reading the book, which was a great suggestion, as it's one thing to read about these techniques and another to see them in action.

i'll admit, i was doubtful. and as if to punish for me for my doubt, my first born son was incredibly colicky. he cried so much one day as a newborn i called my husband at work and begged him to come home. we did get some relief, however, from the happiest baby on the block. whether playing white noise and shushing at a million decibels in my son's ear, wrapping him up tightly like a burrito or rocking him back and forth, the happiest baby on the block's tips at least helped my crying child not be the unhappiest baby on the block.

and for that, i am grateful. but not as grateful as i am that he is now sleeping through the night.

babycenter

www.babycenter.com

my son is ten months old today! wow, that went fast. the last few months have been filled with so many milestones (crawling, teething, pulling up to stand, waving) that i have no idea what to expect next.

good thing there's babycenter. babycenter is a wealth of resources for moms and moms-to-be, with advice from getting pregnant all the way up to taking care of your "big kid." there are tons of articles by doctors and q&a sections on everything from breastfeeding to discipline.

my favorite part of babycenter is the timeline they provide for you and your growing baby. whether you're pregnant and want to know how your baby's developing in utero or a proud parent curious to know what to prepare for next, the babycenter timeline is both cool and helpful.

a simple sign-up with either your due date or child's birthday will automatically tell you what to expect from your little one in the upcoming weeks. example: i logged in this morning to the message, "cole is 10 months week 1: this week, watch out for flying sippy cups!" babycenter can send weekly emails for the first two years about baby’s development, and then periodically as baby reaches bigger milestones.

as my friend lisa says, "It was great to have as a working mom – with less time to read. This helped me look for cues around key developmental stages (i.e., ready for a cup, to use a fork, how to deal with stranger anxiety, sleep problems, you name it)."

well, i'm off to read about developing good speech patterns while dodging sippy cups. wish me luck.

*thanks to lisa for the heads-up!

porn for new moms

www.amazon.com

do you ever wish your husband would tell you how sexy you look in your sweatpants?

what if he said something like, "don't worry, honey. your mother and i will take wonderful care of the baby while you and your girlfriends are at the spa."

either you've stepped into a parallel universe or you're reading "porn for new moms." at least three of my girlfriends have told me about this book and i wish i'd come up with the idea myself!

if you don't find this book entertaining, you obviously don't have children. because otherwise there's no way you wouldn't appreciate it. pages of good looking men smiling and holding babies and writing thank-you notes and folding laundry. *sigh*

maybe you're imaging your shirtless spouse drawing a warm bubble bath for you and offering a glass of wine while murmuring, "I poured your bath, and here's a glass of Chardonnay. And don't worry - even if it gets into the breastmilk, it'll just help him fall asleep later."

yeah, you're definitely in a parallel universe.

pregnancy - awesome or UGHsome?

so i was in this great little store called ladybug ladybug in my neighborhood last week and making friends with the girl behind the counter, as i am wont to do. (check them out if you're in noe valley - they are super cute.)

the girl mentioned that a friend of hers was due any day now and was just really ready to have the baby. she said it would probably be the only baby, since her friend's pregnancy was awful.

"ugh, mine too," i overshared. "i felt like crap."

she said that her friend felt so guilty about not enjoying the pregnancy and that it seemed like this dirty little secret.

let me tell you something, i LOVE being a mom. but my pregnancy SUCKED. i was sick for almost six months, i put on a ridiculous amount of weight, i retained so much water i developed what my friend referred to as "flintstone feet" (you know, straight to the foot from the knee), i had greasy hair, i was exhasted and i wanted to barf every time i brushed my teeth.

BUT it was all worth it in the end.

moral of the story? you are not required to love your pregnancy. it's awesome if you do, but if you don't, you're still going to be an awesome mom. and you'll be surprised at how many people feel the same way.

boobie tuesday! soothies gel pads

www.soothies.com

if you're not a mom, i have a secret for you: breastfeeding is hard. i know - it seems easy, doesn't it? and it is.... eventually. but at first it is tough. it's not as intuitive as you think it'll be, the lactation consultants in the hospital are all totally humorless and it hurts like, well, like a mother.

enter soothies gel pads. soothies are cooling gel pads you can slap directly on your poor, sore breasts for instant relief. cooling gel on one side and fabric on the other, soothies are totally safe for brand new and nursing moms. you can find them in most local drugstores and use them for up to three weeks of soothing support.

i'm about to give away one of my tricks of the trade and tell you about my New Mom Survival Kit. when one of my good friends has a baby, i take her a bag of things i really needed during my first few days at home. in that bag? a dozen bagels, a package of newborn sized pampers swaddlers and a set of soothies gel pads.

"what to expect the first year"

www.amazon.com

i was so excited when i found out i was pregnant. i couldn't wait to start reading about pregnancy and looking online to find out what my baby was doing. so i dragged my husband to my first doctor's appointment and breathlessly asked my doctor what books i should be reading.

"there really aren't that many great books," she said.

"oh," i said. "well, what about websites?"

"yeah," she replied, "...stay away from the internet."

which is the best piece of pregnancy advice i've ever gotten. seriously.

how does this tie in? everyone i know had been given "what to expect when you're expecting" and EVERY SINGLE ONE of those people told me to never, ever, ever read it. (it's too alarmist, it gives you too many things to worry about, etc. etc. etc....)

on the flip side, however, "what to expect the first year" is a great book. yes, some of the timelines seem to enforce nervous parenting (the helpful "your baby should be doing this, your baby might be doing this" guidelines will make you crazy) but overall, there's lots of useful information about baby's developmental changes, sleep habits, how to bathe your child, introducing a bottle, immunizations, games to play with baby and FAQ's for every month covering just about anything you can think of and far far far too many to list here.

boobie tuesday! i hate my breastpump: hands-free bustier

www.easyexpressionproducts.com/

i'll admit it: before i had my son, breastfeeding kind of gave me the heebie jeebies. i know, i know, it's natural and wonderful and fantastic and i'm of course now one of the remaining moms that i know who's still doing it, so obviously things worked out.

one of my main qualms, however, had less to do with the feeding and more to do with the pump. ugh. i don't know a single nursing mom who actually likes that thing. it's like a really bad date where you get felt up - but he never buys you dinner. or calls. and is a breast pump.

the worst part is being stuck to this thing for 15 minutes every time you pump. after my husband asked me if i'd ever seen that star trek episode where people get attacked by borgs and started chanting "you will be assimilated" at me, i knew it was time to do something.

the easy expressions "bustier" (and that term is used very, very, very loosely) will at least save you from having to hold the f-ing things every time you pump. think of it as an ugly tube top that zips up the front and has super-easy access. aside from the hilarious illustration on the package (see above), since i doubt you're conducting important office work in your breastpump and denim button down, it at least will allow you to check your e-mail or use the remote while you're captive.

ugly? hell yes. necessary? oh my goodness, yes. as my friend jen said, "this thing is nasty, but it will save your life."

golden gate mothers group

http://www.ggmg.org/
a friend of mine with two little boys likened being a new mom to being a freshman - having to start all over, not knowing what you're doing and desperately trying to make new friends that understand your suddenly completely different lifestyle.

being one of the first of my friends to have a baby, i can attest to how difficult it is to make "mom friends." i felt like a dork trying to smile at every other woman i saw pushing a stroller, most of whom looked at me like i was a crazy person. enter Golden Gate Mothers Group.

Golden Gate Mothers Group (GGMG) is a fantastic, san francisco-based organization to help you meet other moms. they're renowned for two things, message boards and playgroups.

• GGMG message boards: this is where i found my sleep consultant, asked people about pediatricians, found out what parks to go to, saw nanny listings and recommendations, quizzed moms about age-appropriate toys and so much more. you can find a gently used bugaboo or discover how to stop swaddling your baby. an endless resource for soon-to-be and new moms.

• GGMG playgroups: new moms are put into playgroups according to their child's birthdate, so you'll be with other moms who are literally going through the exact same things you are. want to find out what other babies are doing at your child's age? need to swap tales of sleepless nights? feel the urge to play "i'm a crazier mother than you are - guess what i did today?" (ummm..... maybe that's just me.) these groups are for you. i made some fantastic friends and met some really great moms through my playgroup.

GGMG is a priceless resource for new moms that i highly recommend. and one of the best ways to find out that really, you're not alone!

* have suggestions for mom groups in other cities? we'd love to hear about them!

"i can't imagine why anybody would want to stop crying"

www.theonion.com

oh man, i love the onion. and i love it even more now that it's glaringly obvious someone who works there has a small child.

this fabulous op/ed, entitled "i can't imagine why anybody would want to stop crying," ostensibly written by a two-month-old, had me from the opening:

"Life has so many wonderful experiences to offer. Like sleep. But I find life offers few opportunities more rewarding than screaming like a maniac until your voice cracks with the strain, so that the entire universe can share in your distress. That's what life is all about, right?"

having a rough day? not sleeping? baby screaming? this one's for you. enjoy.

*special thanks to cole's uncle mike for the link